Time to get back to writing and blogging. I've had plenty of days to get through the gradual withdrawal from WORK. It's hard to believe this year's season was even worse than normal.

I've managed to convince my Yahoo email to get my notices, even though Qwest will not pass them through our email. This should help.

In the meantime, two friends dumped me off their flists frostbit_sky and heartofslash. Not sure if they did cuts or what, because I haven't been around. I've had heartofslash on my flist for years. Oh, well.

I'll never get the friends list thingy, but that's just me. I come and go at LJ, and I have for years, but I'm still here. Sorta. And I've never dropped anyone, unless there was some sort of ugly situation. Luckily those are few and far between.

We took a gorgeous drive up the gorgeous Gorge tonight. We finally are having a few days of summer. While the rest of the country cooks, we're barely in the 70s.

I've got to get myself to get back to unpacking boxes. There's still lots of work to do!

Maybe you didn't realize that LJ had been gone for around two months. Maybe it seemed like it was *I* who was gone.

I never realized how much I relied on notifications to play at LJ, but the fact is, without them I just COULD NOT bother to post, much let comment. I will now have to go back to previous entries to see if there were comments, as well as search out all my fanfic (!!) and see if there was any feedback to reply to.

When Charlie told me we were getting notifications again, it felt like Resurrection-style news, not to be irreligious on Easter. I had nearly given up on LJ altogether.

Just like I've almost given up on feeling good, as it's been three weeks since I was anywhere near normal . . . collapsing at work two days before my birthday and taking an ambulance ride to the hospital was almost as horrific as spending days feeling as sick as I ever have in my life. Believe me, I'm going to celebrate when both Charlie and I are healthy again. (I'm lowering my definition of feeling 'healthy' to a simple standard: the absence of not feeling like shit.

Welcome back, also, to skylightdance; glad to see you did a re-name and kept your LJ. I also need to tell you again how much I appreciated your wonderful gift. It was so generous of you (and Debbie) to send us your artwork. A gift that shares your talent is a very special gift, indeed.

And thanks, annaed770 for the Easter virtual gift. Hope you--and all my flisters who celebrate the Resurrection--are having a wonderful holiday.

It's been more than a week since I posted. I never put up my post about seeing Fed and Rafa in Eugene a couple weeks ago. I haven't updated about all the stuff going on with Japan fund raising and our Sapporo delegation coming next week. I haven't shared all the work drama.

If I don't get back on the bus, I'll be left in the dust. But that's the hardest part.

I am not going to let this season get me down.

Friday we announced our grand marshal. I stayed in the office to try to get work done, but I'm still about ten hours behind. Then Tuesday we're announcing our new event, so the next two days will be CRAZY.

Today is the first day of spring, but it was 61 degrees in the house when I got up. (Which is very cold for us.)

And I'm getting *NO* notifications and haven't been for weeks. I have no idea if people are commenting to entries (which is easy enough to check) or to fanfic (which is tougher) or to comments I make (which is impossible). This is beyond annoying, and evidently it's not going to change, because Charlie has complained already. I guess we need to try changing emails and see what happen.

Learned about the horrific earthquake and tsunami in Japan from an email sent by a local news source to our sister city website . . . called the board president to see if anyone is hearing news from their friends and family.

The surge is supposed to hit our coast at around 7:15. People are evacuating and some are heading to Portland. ODOT is opening the tunnel on Hwy 26 to let them through.

Praying for everyone.

It was 175 years ago that Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie and Col. William Travis gave their lives at the Alamo, along with a couple hundred more Texians. Nowadays the whole thing is a little more controversial in a place where it's less than politically correct to villainize the Mexicans.

Still, it's a great story in American history, although it's important to point out that these guys were not trying to protect America; they were fighting to form a new republic, while the Mexicans were fighting to preserve one.


Our visits to the Alamo were my favorite memories of last year's trip to San Antonio. Sitting across from the beautiful shrine while we were watching the Fiesta Flambeau parade was really special. ( More pics )

Which proves I'll always be more inclined toward the drama of history, rather than the facts. (And, by the way, Laurence Harvey was a gorgeous Travis!)

Just finished writing the Legend of the Clown Prince and sending it to the communications team. It probably needs some tweaking, but it's a good start. We unveil our new mascot on morning TV next week, but I can't think about that today (or tonight, I guess). I'll pull a Scarlett O'Hara and think about it tomorrow.

Or next week . . .

I came home early (that means before 7:00pm) to try to get some writing done. (I never have one minute to myself at work these days!) Instead I fell into an exhausted sleep and didn't start writing until tonight. I finished one of the three projects due tomorrow.

There's nothing like waiting until the last minute. St. Expeditus, where are you when I need you?

I have to say it's been a relief not to post daily! (It's a good thing I never received the blog topic for March and got tempted to continue.) But I do miss reading the comments from my friends. I guess nothing's perfect.

February is one blink away from history, and it will have been only the second or third month of daily blogging for me.

And I actually enjoyed the obligation, despite having to backdate a few times.

One last reflection on the subject matter that inspired me: Character is both a challenge and a reward. Development of character is something not left to the writer's purview, but to every one of us.

And as I fell asleep in the middle of Tim Burton's amazing version of Alice in Wonderland, I can't help but marvel at what it must be like to develop fictional characters whose names have become synonymous with traits we all share, like that occasional Cheshire Cat smile . . .

Fantastic Oscars this year, as satisfying as seeing Bigelow win last year. Yay, Christian Bale! Yay, Colin Firth!

And Christopher Nolan was talked about more than anyone else, by the Inception winners. That gave us lots of hot closeups.

Love RDJ and Jude Law presenting together. Loved Tom Hooper's reference to the guy love among them on 'The King's Speech.'

And one of my favorite moments? The hilarious musical sendups that included The Deathly Hallows and 'Doesn't he own a shirt?' from Eclipse.

I spent five hours today at our final judging session for our court . . . junior and senior girls from local high schools, and the three schools assigned to our room were the most diverse, including my own alma mater.

I was mesmerized by these women . . . Mexican, Vietnamese, Filipino, Romanian and one Muslim girl who wore a hijab. The latter spoke so passionately, her hands accentuating every word, her accent as beautiful as her words. One spoke of losing her father and being raped by her uncle when she was younger and how her suffering had made her a stronger person. Another called American the 'golden cage,' a land of opportunity where her father still felt trapped and couldn't understand how she had embraced her new culture.

This is today's Portland. These are tomorrow's women . . . mothers and workers and leaders.

I felt privileged to do my job today. I hope I helped make sure their memories of today were as positive as mine are.

My assessments came out close to those of the judges, and I was especially pleased with the results for my own school. It's hard to believe that in less than 48 hours we start announcing the results . . .

Heard today that a former co-worker was stricken at work last week, went into cardiac arrest, and another former co-worker had to give her CPR.

She's now in a coma, unable to breathe on her own (which does not sound good).

Both women are in their mid-30s, and the one taken ill has a five-year-old daughter. I pray that the one who attempted to save her will find the strength to persevere through the horrible experience, regardless of the outcome, without too much trauma. It's hard to imagine what this must have been like.

(I reminded our finance person today that, despite our budget woes, I want our office to have a defibrillabor.)

Our 'snow day' today wasn't all that snowy. I worked from home, but not all that much. We watched a two-part movie that we bought on line . . . hadn't seen it in several years, and we managed to get rid of our own copy. Called 'The Boys of St. Vincents,' it was made in 1992, before all the sexual abuse cases involving Catholic priests became so prevalent in the public eye. In this fact-based story, the boys referred to in the title are orphans abused by an order of Catholic Brothers in Newfoundland. The main character, Brother Peter Lavin, is played by Canadian actor Henry Czerny (the Duke of Norfolk in 'The Tudors').

(The following contains spoilers for the story, fyi.)

The first part focuses on the events inside the orphanage, and it's pretty well crafted. At first you don't know who to suspect, but your focus narrows on Lavin and his obsession with Kevin, a ten-year-old boy who at first seems uncomfortable around headmaster Lavin, then terrified by him. You're not sure whether the other Brothers are aware . . . they seem okay, overall, until their affectionate attention toward the boys takes a twisted turn. You suddenly realize at least two or three of the others are major abusers themselves, preying on several of the boys and brutalizing them. Lavin leers at the naked boys in the showers, but centers his physical attentions on Kevin. By the end of the first part, Lavin has been 'outed,' but just barely. The Brothers are transferred away from St. Vincents and their transgressions are buried in the bureaucracy of the Church and the Canadian justice system.

The second part is set 15 years later when the case has somehow come to light and the Brothers are arrested and prosecuted; we find Lavin married with two boys of his own. Yes, the major question about those two boys and his affection for them lingers throughout the story--and in fact is the last thing addressed between Lavin and his wife, a question left unanswered. This story centers on the psychological damage done to two of the original boys and the mental and emotional struggles of Lavin himself. The most compelling scenes are probably between Lavin and his assigned therapist.

In the end, nothing is really answered. There's no epiphany, no revelation that Lavin was abused himself, thus became an abuser. We do learn about his own upbringing, being orphaned, raised in foster homes and then in St. Vincents, afraid of sex and of love, purposely hardening himself to the cruelties of the world. He has made his mission in life to pass on this lesson to the boys he oversees. And for him, this passes as love.

Henry Czerny is an amazing actor. His Lavin is terrifying and tortured, controlled but occasionally vulnerable. In the end you almost expect him to publicly reveal himself, but he simply cannot. We do see him confessing his sin (to a priest), which could serve as his release. Kevin fares better, able to open his wounds in court and hopefully start to heal. We don't see Lavin convicted, but regardless of whether he goes to prison, his punishment is eternal; he has lost his family, his career and his reputation.

One of the most awful revelations is about another of the orphans who ended up an abuser himself, victimizing younger boys at St. Vincents as a teenager, then becoming a male prostitute and drug addict after his release. His tragic fate seemed not only inevitable, but obvious. It was made more interesting by the fact that this particular character seemed like the tough kid, the one more capable of coping than the fragile Kevin.

I found this Canadian-made television film really well done. It handled a horrible, potentially lurid subject in a decidedly human way, without the histrionics of a show like 'Special Victims Unit.' And it gave us at least three tragic characters to ponder, including the abuser himself.

ETA: Had to add a historical factoid. Charlie found this link to a list of criminal counts and sentences in Canadian cases of this kind of abuse. St. Vincents was evidently based on the Mount Cashel Orphanage in Newfoundland.

I found it ironic to see this entry in western_writers tonight, since I almost bought the book 'Sacajawea' in the gift shop at Cape Disappointment this weekend.

(One of the reasons I didn't buy it was the size: Huge. Unfortunately I figured I'd never finish it, so I got a lovely little book written about the Corps of Discovery through the eyes of the Newfoundland Seaman, 'The Captain's Dog.')

Aside from having visited this spot over the holiday weekend, last week during my road trip to Astoria I ended up talking about Sacagawea with my two travel companions, a pair of ignorant white eyes. First I told them the correct pronounciation of her name (not "Sack-a-ja-wea," as we were taught in school), then I talked about how she was a hero of mine as a teenager. In fact, when I tried out for the Rose Festival Court my senior year, I was asked who my favorite historical character was, and I said Sacagawea, the Bird Woman who traveled with Lewis & Clark.

One of the men I was with had told a story about his grandmother having watched a statue of Sacagawea being placed at the turnaround in Seaside, where it was unfortunately dropped and broken. There's a statue of Lewis & Clark and Seaman at this spot, and I can't confirm the story about a previous statue right now . . . but maybe later I'll research it. It seems statues of the Shoshone heroine have had an even tougher life than she did.

On Sunday we drove past Lake Sacajawea Park in Longview on our way to the coast, one of the truly beautiful city center parks. (Here's a nice blog entry about that site.) I vaguely remember hearing the lifesized statue in the park was stolen at one time.

While I was looking around for a photo of a local statue, I found an article about the Fort Clatsop Sacagawea statue that was stolen and then broken up for scrap metal a couple years ago. The image below is supposedly its replacement.

LOVED 'The King's Speech.' Yes, I briefly obsessed over the reality of the story, just as I always do, but despite the liberties taken with the timeline, I found it enjoyable as both a straight story *and* a work of historical fiction.

Colin Firth was wonderful, as was Geoffrey Rush. And both Charlie and I were surprised at how much we enjoyed Helena Bonham Carter as the future Queen Mum. By playing such a 'normal' character so well, she proved what a good actress she really is.

It was interesting to see the take on the whole Edward/Wallace Simpson thing, much opposed to the romantic version we Americans grew up with. I can remember our mom's take on it--later well dramatized on such shows as 'The Waltons'--where the abdication was seen as the ultimate courageous choice. In TKS, it's revealed as both a relief and a copout. Clearly Edward was not the right man to be king.

The character of the American socialite deserves further study; she definitely did not come off well in this story. But the actress certainly looked the part of Time magazine's first Woman of the Year (in 1936).

And, by the way, we definitely found it slashy. Gotta go find the fanfic cruisedirector has written and check it out!

On the reality front, we postponed Friday's press conference due to our imminent 'weather event,' and I did, indeed, lose patience with one of my most stalwart staffers. But all of this will eventually improve . . . and we got our grand marshal announcement scheduled and a positive answer on Astoria's involvement.

Progress can sometimes seem glacial, but it's definitely inevitable.

Okay, this whole snow thing? Can't happen. We have too much to do this week, and Portland is incapable of handling snow.

Christian Bale: Get ready to win an Oscar. You deserve it, believe me. But please don't sound like you've just loaded both nostrils when you take the stage. And ignore anybody adjusting the lights. Today you're my favorite character actor (even though I prefer you as a leading man).

Co-workers 'o mine: Let's keep the drama to a bare minimum. I'm done with drama this week. Except for stories starring Christian Bale. And when I say "I'm done," I'm done.

Sponsors: Let's all play nice. I'm going to be as honest and accommodating as I can.

Media: Don't even think about not turning out for our press conference. I'm serious.

Appliances and other inanimate objects around the house: No more breaking down. Furnace, keep running. We can use toothpicks to make the microwave work, maybe the cable company can get me re-connected in the bathroom (yes, bathroom) and hopefully my toilet will keep flushing for another six or seven days. It's not like I use it that much . . .

Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal: Do not get injured. Stay healthy. Stay happy. Stay hunky. And get ready to come play tennis just a few feet from my drooling lips. It looks like my tix are in the 7th row (of some section, at least).

Now that I've got all that off my chest, we're heading out to see the Best Picture, 'The King's Speech,' to finish off a great holiday weekend!

Long before Jacob the Wolf popped into my life (and stories), Jake the Alligator Man was on the scene. Not quite as hunky and certainly not nearly as angsty, Jake's been the Big Attraction at Marsh's Free Museum for some 45 years.

Today we visited Jake again, during an entertaining drive to the coast (one where we saw three different herds of elk and one lone doe standing right near the Washington ramp to the Astoria bridge).

Jake's still quite the character!

And we took a side trip to Cape Disappointment where we enjoyed the amazing scenery and bought more souvenirs. Then to Seaside for a little Fascination . . . all-in-all, a full day!

Hope my flisters are having a good weekend, especially those of you who got a three-day holiday. Gotta thank those presidents for having their own day!

It's fascinating watching characters grow up before your eyes, over the course of many years. At least the HP kids are old enough now that you don't have to feel like a perv watching them, hehe. Tonight we finally saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, and it was engrossing and evocative, even for those of us who haven't read the book.

I realize there are lots of people who don't like the character Ron Weasley for a variety of reasons. In this movie, he was annoying, as he often is. He exhibits negative qualities throughout the movies, like envy, gluttony, jealousy and even cowardice. He's so clueless sometimes, you want to slap him upside the head.

But I guess the reason I like Ron is that he's REAL. He's flawed. He's human (even though he's a wizard). And ultimately he ends up doing the right thing.

We went to the old Mt. Hood Theatre ($4 a head). Our popcorn, drinks, candy and even a hotdog cost under $20. We hadn't been there in ages and we were surprised to see how packed the place was. Hurray for second run movie houses!

Sunny and nice today, but they say snow is coming. For goodness sake, it's nearly spring. Let's stop the nonsense! (And don't you dare screw up our press conference next Friday!)

Made it through today, including a long drive in the backseat of a small car. The parade chair, our Sales Director and I drove to Astoria in the afternoon to meet with the Regatta board . . . actually a rewarding trip where we met some interesting folks. We'll see what comes out of it. Astoria is celebrating their bicentennial this year and was just voted one of America's "coolest small towns."

It was gorgeous at the coast. Lots of snow in the mountains on the way, but mild and sunny when we got there.

I had four meetings prior to the trip, then was supposed to be at one this evening. But I thought it started at 7:00pm, and at nearly 7:00 I checked my calendar and saw it had started at 6:30, so I blew it off and came home. I had already worked nearly 12 hours, so I didn't feel too bad.

Tomorrow is our event manager's last day. I posted a picture of her engagement ring on Facebook today (she got engaged on Monday). Next week I've got to assess whether we're going to need another pair of hands to get through the next three months. The stress is already palpable.

Five meetings tomorrow, and I didn't manage to get an appointment for my car, so now that has to wait another week. What am I proud of? I did squeeze in a call to my own doctor today and got my annual physical scheduled for next week!

What did I learn about character today? It has nothing to do with economic or social standing, that's for sure. A man I met in Astoria has passion, know-how and great pride in his work. And he's a definite character. I hope what we did today bears fruit, because I'd love to pitch this guy as a feature story in the 'big city.' The world would love him.

I don't get this thing about community ownership. I just hope I get to own my own drabble community, because I'm probably gonna lose some others . . .

LJ is testing my character. That must be the reason for this madness.

I loved the Scottish deerhound . . . I've only seen one in person in my life, at a Renfaire about nine or ten years ago, and it was an amazing dog.

Nice choice, Signore Judge.

Now I see why I'm not a judge at Westminster . . . I just don't get it. Luckily it's entertaining, even when I don't agree (which is almost always these days).

What is LJ doing with the communities? It's nice to get emails that I'm the owner of communities I own, but huh? What does it mean?

And when it comes to work, it's waaay too early for everybody to be getting so damn antsy. Tuesdays are especially annoying.

It's gonna take an amazing amount of character to stay positive.

But, dammit, I will.

ETA: Hey, I liked that smooth fox terrier--I call him Harvey Two-Face Dent!

Just watched the first day of the three-day Jeopardy tournament featuring 'Watson,' the super-computer designed to take on the two great champs. It's funny how quickly we manage to assign human characteristics to the Avatar representing the computer (love how he 'blushes' when he gets an answer wrong).

Reminds me of how instantly popular Mr. Spock was (no emotions? come on!) on classic Trek, logically followed by Data on Next Gen. And of course our fascination for and love of robots and talking computers goes much farther back. Hell, we can anthropomorphize a car . . . and I'd rather do that than get hung up on kis from the Jersey shore!

(Just don't let Dr. Forbin near Watson, please!)

Happy birthday to rose_amethyst and just_jimbo.

I finally finished and posted the last part of my three-part 3:10 to Yuma story, 'Stubborn'! One down, at last two more lingering works-in-progress to finish this year! And now it's time to move on to one of my favorite special events of the year, crammed with the most well-groomed characters on the planet, the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show!

Funny how a weekend this time of year can be a day or less, while in the 'off season,' it's three days. And you make the most (or least) of whatever you get. We enjoyed the movie last night and then took a ride to The Dalles today . . . the weather was pretty nice and mild and we only hit rain at the very end.

The most important part was the long nap in the middle of the day.

I'm looking forward to the upcoming three-day weekend, our last one until July. What follows is one-day weekend season, and a month of 7-day weeks.

(If you don't want to work your ass off, don't do special events.)

Tomorrow is media training for the prez, and then I hope Charlie and I can find time to work on the website.

We're basically hating have Windows 7 as our OS on our new home desktops . . . nothing seems compatible, including games and important programs we use all the time. You know what they say about hindsight . . .

Tomorrow we get the new copy machine at work, and hopefully that won't be too traumatic. We'll see. I usually embrace change, in everything but certain technology. And have I mentioned the camera on my new phone doesn't work?

Which brings me to an observation that how we deal with change--change in status, change in favor, change in health and age and attractiveness--is an important factor in a person's character. One of my favorite mantras growing up was the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

If we could all aspire to serenity, courage and wisdom, that would be pretty damn good.

If we want to see 'The Rite' before it shuffles off this mortal coil, we better do it this weekend!

In the meantime, we managed to work nearly six hours this morning, which helped me catch up on stuff, as well as meeting with representatives from the Summer Institute kids who are going to Sapporo in June, talking to them about external communications and encouraging them to set up a Facebook page and a blog.

And on the Character subject: Who said, "They hit him with five shots and he's still alive"? How about, "Leave the gun, take the canoli"? Answers: ( here )

Yes, I couldn't help watching a few scenes from one of my all-time favorite movies, 'The Godfather,' on AMC. I never get tired of it!

This morning as I was rushing to get to a 9:00am meeting, I inadvertently was 'treated' to a racist rant by Rush Limbaugh, a preview of coming attractions slipped into the morning news.

Limbaugh was talking about "Pharaoh Obama" and used terms like "let my people go" and "Bro" in reference to the President of the United States.

It's hard to believe such blatant racism can be tolerated in what's considered the 'greatest country on earth.' It started my day off on a decidedly sour note.

I guess that's the downside of freedom of speech.

The good news is, the meeting went well, and by noon I was at the hospital with Charlie, waiting for her to be discharged. I was so exhausted this afternoon, I slept until 4:00pm, then woke thinking it was the middle of the night.

Tomorrow morning we've got to go in to let in the maintenance guys and turn off the server . . . so it's time to turn in. It's hard to believe we're already into the middle of February!

So, I came home today to take Charlie to her doctor's appointment, and, unfortunately, they sent us straight to the hospital. The good news is, they haven't really found anything wrong. The bad news is, it takes hours and hours and hours to decide if there really *is* anything wrong.

So we sat in the emergency room for hours, then she was finally moved to a room. At least eight different people asked her the same questions, over and over.

When I left at 8:00pm, she still hadn't eaten anything all day. And she just called to tell me the kitchen is closed. Luckily she has a candy bar in her backpack!

For the record, I'm convinced she's okay, although I know she has some sort of virus or sinus infection that's been lingering. She definitely hasn't felt well. But I'm not alarmed, for whatever reason. I feel pretty calm, although I'm sorry for her having to be in the hospital.

I updated her blog. And now I've written in this one. My observation on this month's blog topic: Charlie's character won't allow her to be negative or depressed. And that's half the battle.