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Mistress Marilyn's POV
No shit, Tempus Fugit!
Friend, Un-Friend 
19th-Sep-2008 12:50 am
bruce-ouch
So five weeks ago this woman friended me. I can't really remember exactly why, but I think she came from charliemc's journal. She was a prolific poster, and she liked to put photos of interesting stuff in her entries, like stuff she'd buy and stuff she'd cook and other stuff along those lines. She lives in Scotland, and I found her pretty interesting, overall.

Evidently she was in a bad accident last year and was having a lot of trouble with the physical aftereffects, not to mention harrassment from the insurance company. I admit I didn't read all her entries; there was no way I could have. And I only commented occasionally.

But suddenly a few days ago, she unfriended me. She didn't say why, and she disabled comments to her journal, so I couldn't even say "bye."

I really feel like I wasted a lot of time reading her journal, getting to know about her and her life. It's not the first time I've been unfriended, of course. I've had folks from my flist that I spent a lot more time on drop me or delete their journals altogether. It's one of the mysteries of LJ, and there have been lots of posts dedicated to the subject.

But it's really no different than RL. Friends come and go. They pleasantly surprise you sometimes and they let you down others. And occasionally, for whatever reason, they totally drop you out of their lives. I've had all these things happen, sometimes very painfully.

I guess I'd rather waste time on some woman who arbitrarily cuts me from her flist than cut myself off from the chance to get to know someone interesting and unique, like so many of the others on my flist. So let this be my official goodbye to ember999.

ETA: Looks like she deleted her journal (see strike-out above). Unbelievable. It was just full of photos and interesting facts. I miss her.

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Comments 
19th-Sep-2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
Its a feeling I don't like either.
I recently 'lost' a friend. She was an LJ friend that had become a text buddy and therefore often closer than a RL neighbor/friend. One day, after over a year of daily chitchat, I realized that she hadn't stopped posting: weeks earlier she had defriended me!!! I was shocked and had a million things to say. I decided that the unwritten word was the best choice!
It hurts when somebody disappears.
Even without commenting, you get to checking that their posts are there and showing that this stranger is ok.

We need to move on. I said goodbye the same way you did with a public post and then defriended her. A week later, I also closed the post.
20th-Sep-2008 02:38 am (UTC)
Wow, to lose a friend who was also a text buddy must have been really strange. I really hardly knew this woman in question, although I spent a lot of time reading/scanning her prolific posts. When I think about the time I wasted doing that, I just remember that lots of folks try a few dates and then move on. It's part of life, RL and on line.

I agree, there are enough great people to know that it's not worth worrying about. I just have a curious nature that has a hard time letting go.
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