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Mistress Marilyn's POV
No shit, Tempus Fugit!
The final moments of the three-day weekend~ 
19th-Jan-2009 11:41 pm
alfred hand-on-face
What a gorgeous weekend. Except for the inversion (and resulting air pollution), it could have been spring or summer. Amazing. I think my face got sunburned today from the glare of the window.

And like they say, time flies when you're having fun.

What did I write this weekend? A poem. Seriously. I wrote a parody of an old poem for Sue, and I spent quite some time obsessing over it.

Le sigh.

(It turned out well, though . . . and I thought I'd never be able to do it.)

I need to get a notice out to the Writing Circle, get something ready to wear to work this week and get to bed at a reasonable hour. And in the meantime, the Australian Open started yesterday without my even realizing. I thought we had another week to wait.

So, another year, another Australian Open that I'm *NOT* seeing in person.

Maybe next year.

And on an entirely different note, seems that Sam also lied about a sexual relationship. And he's someone I actually think has some character and judgment. (Admittedly he had many reasons to lie, especially when age and gender are figured in.)

So what is it about honesty? Charlie and I had a conversation about human qualities yesterday, and I said honesty was the first to go, to be jettisoned in order to salvage other qualities, like self respect or dignity. Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense. But it seems to be true.

Le sigh, part deux.

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20th-Jan-2009 08:58 am (UTC)
Good that you had a nice weekend.

Actually that think about honesty does make sense.

21st-Jan-2009 05:57 am (UTC)
Greetings in return! Hope all is well with you.
21st-Jan-2009 06:22 am (UTC) - :)
20th-Jan-2009 02:17 pm (UTC)
you had earned a good weather weekend!

glad you got it

21st-Jan-2009 05:57 am (UTC)
Oh, so much so. I wish the same for you!
20th-Jan-2009 06:37 pm (UTC)
Sorry but I don't get it. You mean like not being honest about one's age, things like that?

If you don't mind me asking who is Sam?

Glad to see that you got out and enjoyed yourself.
21st-Jan-2009 06:15 am (UTC)
Well, the whole honesty thing is kind of esoteric, I guess. It came from a long conversation about watching the slow character/personality disintegration of someone we once were very close to. The first thing to happen was the loss of honesty, and that happened years ago. She lied in order to keep our good opinion, so we'd think she was someone of higher character, I guess. And we just looked the other way and never called her on it, so we all upheld the lie.

But for me honesty is one of the most important character traits. I find it amazing that this is almost always the first quality that's abandoned. The unofficial prologue to my novel is titled 'Everybody Lies.' Your parents teach you how, and society makes it almost imperative.

On the bulletin board in my office is our local newspaper with screaming headlines about John Edwards and his admission about cheating on his wife and lying about it. "Cheater. Liar. Says He's Sorry" are the headlines. I'm using it for media training, to show how today's media can characterize the individual, not just his or her actions.

Ironically, Sam is our new mayor. He just took office this month. He's someone I've admired and supported for years, and I guess he's the first openly gay mayor of a major metropolitan area. (I wrote Mayor Garcia of Gotham City as gay in honor of Sam.) I think Sam's one of the smartest, most capable politicians I've ever known. He's actually a student of government affairs, trained to be a leader.

But several years ago he had a sexual relationship with a male intern who was barely 18. And when it surfaced a couple years ago, he lied about it and swore it hadn't happened. His defense was so sincere and believable, the scandal went away, and he was elected.

And a couple days ago the same local paper that came after us last week broke the story. Sam had to admit the truth and apologize.

It's very disappointing. Many people will judge him on his actions, having sex with an intern, especially one so young. Those of us who supported him are going to have to take a lot of shit. But for me the disappointing part is the lie.

Still, if he hadn't lied, would he have gotten elected? Does he deserve to be in high office if both his honesty and his judgment are in question?

I'm going to send him an email and give him my thoughts by the end of the week. I'm going to let him know that as disappointed as I am, I'm still his friend and supporter. I'm going to offer my advice and counsel, since working with the media is part of my job.

But as a blogger, I remain fascinated by how honesty has become a disposable character trait.

Well, I'm no psychologist or sociologist, so maybe it always was and I'm just starting to wrestle with it.
21st-Jan-2009 07:24 am (UTC)
While we both believe those in government should be held to a higher standard -- and should be as honest as possible -- I feel for Sam so much in this situation.

I think he's an amazingly ethical -- one of the most ethical men in politics today. I'm disappointed about the lie, but I understand why he felt he had to lie. People are so judgmental about the sexual acts of gays... (sigh)

He had a tough time in front of him as it was, considering the cost of all the winter weather crap... And now this! All this when he's just getting started.

I just want to continue to support him, no matter what. I believe he'll be good for our city -- and end up an amazing mayor (as I know you do).

That damned Willamette Week. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate that rag???
21st-Jan-2009 04:26 pm (UTC)
lying is a tricky thing. We all do it, yes. You got the so called 'white lies' the ones I guess that save your butt, and then you got 'black lies' the ones that really hurt people. As for Sam he was trying to save his political life, and he probably would have lost the election without the lie. But it's going to hurt him with a lot of people.

The lies that people use to protect themselves are learned since childhood, "did you do this?", you don't want to be in pain, you don't want to be punished, so you lie. The thing is for some people it can evolve into chronic lying, if it works for a few things, it can work for a whole lot of things. And then the pleasure of having the mental power to make people believe what you want them to can kick in, lol.

I think for some people it can become an honest to god mental problem. It becomes a way of dealing with life, anything demanding, unpleasant and might require some sacrifice.

I lied about my age for a long time at lj, only when I answered Charlie on my journal about my age did I let the truth out. And why did I do this? I can tell you in a blind of an eye. I wanted to have friends. I wanted them to accept me. I wanted them to consider me a viable, sexual, interesting individual.

So does my age bother me, oh yes it does. In our society it's a big no-no, akin to a sin.
22nd-Jan-2009 08:41 am (UTC)
You are so right. It's behavior learned from childhood, and I think it's originally defensive behavior. You're scared you'll get in trouble. And Sam's lie was a grown-up version of the same thing.

I do believe it becomes chronic for some people, that they get off on it, or maybe they just can't recognize the truth anymore. I've seen it happen.

I absolutely agree about the age thing. I used to have a policy that I didn't mention my age ~ and I still rarely offer it ~ because of other people's perceptions, not my own. We're immediately categorized by what people expect us to be like 'at our age.' It's bullshit. We're no less interesting, valuable, vibrant or sexy than 20-somethings. In fact we're much more. But we're stereotyped. It's one of our accepted discriminations in this country, like obesity.

I refuse to use the world 'old' in reference to human beings.

20th-Jan-2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
I have no doubts that you can write poetry, Marilyn, and be good at it too. Your command of words is far stronger than mine and you write so many things. Lol, I only have so many words per month or year.
21st-Jan-2009 06:18 am (UTC)
Hehe, I think we all have only 'so many words,' as you put it. I worry about using mine up. I really do. It's like Sam from 'Sex in the City' worrying about using up her orgasms.

I'm currently having sort of a down period in my writing, so I appreciate what you said. The poem thing was silly, but fun. I want to keep writing fun, regardless of how seriously I'm taking it.
21st-Jan-2009 04:41 am (UTC)
Your weekend does sound wonderful. Maybe more are just around the corner.
As for Sam... any place for me to read up on that or is it a private comment here? Sorry for the unhappy turn.
Soon the weather may be just right for you to play tennis again.
21st-Jan-2009 06:22 am (UTC)
Hmmm . . . I think I lost my comment.

Sam is our new mayor, who recently admitted to lying about a sexual relationship with a male intern. It's very disappointing and troubling. Feel free to check out this reply for more details.

I certainly hope I play more tennis this year, but, my goodness, I'm going to have to get in better shape for it!
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