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Mistress Marilyn's POV
No shit, Tempus Fugit!
Sad day . . . 
2nd-Nov-2005 06:21 pm
So, Carol died today.

I called Ron around 10:30 and he told me they had given her the last rites and had turned off the machines. They did an EEG yesterday that showed she wasn't having brain activity. Ron told me to come up to the hospital. He was sitting with her when I called.

Jenny and I went to the hospital, but she had already passed away by the time we got there. We waited until a few other friends from the board arrived, and we talked to Ron for some time. Then I spent several hours calling board members and other friends who would want to know.

This is only the second time I can think of when a board member died (not counting past presidents). I'm sure we'll need to talk at the funeral (which is yet to be scheduled), and I need to start thinking about that in case it's me talking.

Carol and Ron celebrated their 38th anniversary in September. And she was going to turn 60 in December.

I'm really tired right now.
3rd-Nov-2005 07:48 am (UTC)
Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. Hang in there, MM, and take care of yourself.
4th-Nov-2005 08:22 am (UTC)
Thanks, Jimbo. It's been a real shock, but we'll get through.
3rd-Nov-2005 07:56 am (UTC)
My dear, Miss M, so sorry to hear the news about Carol.

I will include her in my prayers tonight.

Please do take care of yourself.

4th-Nov-2005 08:23 am (UTC)
Thanks, dear. It's certainly changed my concept of my novel. Actually, it's helped me a lot to define where I'm going with it (now I just have to write it).

There was a lot of hugging going on today, of people I wouldn't normally hug.

I guess that's the important message. Cherish life and the people around you.
4th-Nov-2005 10:02 pm (UTC)
Blessed Be!
(Deleted comment)
4th-Nov-2005 08:23 am (UTC)
Thanks, dear!
3rd-Nov-2005 07:48 pm (UTC) - So Sorry.
I just read this and commented. Then I found your post from yesterday.

Marilyn, let me just say that I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm really impressed by the way you deal with things like this. I really do aspire to be more like you.

Hang in there. I'm sending cyber hugs and chocolate your way. (And keeping you and Ron in my prayers.)


4th-Nov-2005 08:24 am (UTC) - Re: So Sorry.
Thank you so much, Brian. You're so sweet and caring.
4th-Nov-2005 02:04 am (UTC)
If you have to talk at the funeral MM you can do it.

I spoke at my father's funeral.

I had things I wanted to say about him and I felt them so strongly that I wasn't afraid.

I did it very well.

It was one of the strongest moments of my life, even the preacher was moved.

4th-Nov-2005 08:30 am (UTC)
Yes, I've certainly spoken at a lot of funerals in my day! I did one for our Volunteer of the Year last March who finally passed away from cancer, one of the truly positive people I've known.

Charlie and I both spoke at Dad's funeral and at Mom's. And we also sang for both of them, one song for Dad and two for Mom. Dad died during Rose Festival, and we opened a brand new event the morning after we made all the arrangements. I'll never forget walking up to the breakfast and having people surround me. And our board president sent me a card after and told me I was the strongest person she had ever known.

The painful moments are the ones that define your character. I'm glad you were able to speak at your dad's funeral and that you can pull out that memory as a good one. I completely identify with that.

If I have to speak, I just need to know exactly what to say. Last March Charlie and I drove to the beach on the day before the funeral of this man we both cared about, and we climbed to the top of the Astoria column and flew these little gliders. Charlie's soared over the treetops, high up the mountain and I used that story in my funeral speech the next day.

I said the people standing on the landing at the top of the Column were all in awe when they saw Charlie's glider flying, and someone said "Who's plane was that?"

I said, "I knew exactly whose it was."

I need to think of something equally meaningful to say about Carol, who was one of the most smiling individuals I ever knew. The good thing is, if I have to, I will. I have total faith in that.

Thanks for your kind thoughts!
4th-Nov-2005 04:02 pm (UTC)
I'm not surprised you and charlie have spoken at funerals. It's wonderful that you also sang.

I'm repulsively shy in front of a crowd so it was out of character for me that day.

And it was really not that much, just a small thing. But it helped me to know I did it.

I know you can speak with grace and style.

I'm not in a position of any importance so I can only imagine how comforting it must have felt having so many people care.

And having someone important care because they respect YOU for you would be helpful at such times.

I like the story about the gliders.

4th-Nov-2005 02:17 am (UTC)
Hang in there girl!

You have the right stuff to make it.
4th-Nov-2005 08:08 am (UTC) - Bless Your Heart...
Hi there sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear about Carol. Losing someone is so hard and painful. We all here for you, babe. We'll be sending you strength and love.

4th-Nov-2005 08:10 am (UTC) - Bless Your Heart...
Hi there sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear about Carol. Losing someone is so hard and painful. We're all here for you, babe. We'll be sending you strength and love.

P.S. Hugs and prayers to you.
4th-Nov-2005 08:33 am (UTC) - Re: Bless Your Heart...
Thank you, sweetie! Yes, it was such a shock. And today there was a lot of hugging going on at my office (of people I wouldn't normally hug, I admit). I imagine Carol's funeral will be amazing. I can't believe it's going to be the same day as our fall board meeting.

(We'll really need a few cocktails at the end of that day!)
4th-Nov-2005 08:15 am (UTC)

I'm soo sorry to hear about your friend. I wish at there were word that a friend or person could say that would help the pain or make it go away. But I do know what your going though and wish I could help. But know I'm keeping you and your friends family in my thoughts.
4th-Nov-2005 08:37 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. I talked to Carol's husband twice today, and he was starting to sound a little lost as everything was settling in. It was one of those relationships where she took care of all the bills and everything, and suddenly he's faced with having to do it all himself.

I'll never forget Carol two years ago working the stage door at the Coronation. She wouldn't let anyone in who wasn't on the list, and our executive director showed up not wearing her identification so Carol wouldn't let her in. Hilarious! And then this past year Carol was the chairman of the Coronation and we had so much fun doing all the judging together for the first time.

One of Carol's good friends was in Mexico this past week and just got back last night. I saw her this morning and she said just as she was in line to get on the plane to come home, she got the call that Carol had passed away. I felt so bad for her.

Loss is a part of life and dealing with it helps build our character.

Right now I feel like I have enough character, and I could use a few less tests!
5th-Nov-2005 03:52 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry. *hugs*
6th-Nov-2005 08:07 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Becky! I appreciate your kind thoughts (and prayers).
6th-Nov-2005 01:22 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss *hugs*
6th-Nov-2005 08:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
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